“Oh honey, no.” TSM.

“Guess who texted me.” TSM.

That moment mid-hangover when you can’t tell if you’re starving or nauseous. TSM.

Knowing that frat guys are the biggest assholes…but still refusing to date a GDI. TSM.

Planning your outfits around what boys are in your classes. TSM.

Coffee for breakfast, Diet Coke for lunch, and vodka for dinner. TSM.

“Are you going to that?” “I don’t know…do we get points?” TSM.

My goal is to be listed under “Notable Alumnae” on my sorority’s national website some day. TSM.

Formal: a classier way of saying “shit show.” TSM.

Is it still a walk of shame if you look damn good? TSM.