The difference between me and her is I can make him smile with my clothes on. TSM.

Feminists want to be treated as men’s equals. I want to be treated much better. TSM.

When we were new members, the actives didn’t haze us. They spoiled us! TSM.

Maybe if Taylor Swift went to college she could’ve found herself a respectable fratdaddy instead of getting her heart broken by all of those GDIs. TSM.

Elle Woods would’ve proven Casey Anthony was guilty. TSM.

McDonald’s in Walmart, GDI. Starbucks in Target, TSM.

Had a bad day, bought some Coors. TFM. Had a bad day, bought some Kors. TSM.

Picking your bridesmaids before you pick the groom. TSM.

Frequent frustration over how to comfortably wear a headband and sunglasses at the same time. TSM.

First drink I have ever bought in a bar was not for myself, but for a Marine, last night. TSM.