Tricking new members into believing you’re the president. TSM.

Calling your dad and telling him you “need” money, when really, you’re just going to the liquor store. TSM.

A moment of silence for all the cute shit you’ve lost at a frat house. TSM.

Playing flip cup with champagne. TSM.

Having Tinder in the apps folder labeled “shopping.” TSM.

Firmly believing that you cannot be held accountable for actions you don’t remember. TSM.

I got 99 problems, but a bid ain’t one. TSM.

People still telling stories about your great, great, grand big because she’s a legend. TSM.

Having to go back to a fraternity the next morning to retrieve your wallet, keys, phone, and bag. TSM. Sending a new member to do it for you. TSTC.

When your profile picture featuring your brand new little breaks your “like” record on Facebook. TSM.