Tiffany & Co.’s “Engagement Ring Finder” app, complete with “hand in motion view” to admire the shine. TSM.

The official TSM koozie holding a Diet Coke. TSM.

The Bachelor weirdly reminds me of recruitment. TSM.

Waiting until after your candle pass to post your engagement on Facebook. TSM.

Spending as much time getting ready for the gym as I do for a date. TSM.

Voting for other sororities in the Lilly print war, so your rival won’t win. TSM.

My mom thinks I’m on birth control for “skin problems.” I wonder when she’ll realize my skin is flawless. TSM.

The higher the roman numeral, the higher my interest. TSM.

Going to meet my fratdaddy’s parents for the first time and instantly bonding with his mom over her recruitment chair days. TSM.

Honey, you’re not playing hard-to-get. You’re hard-to-want. TSM.