With a great fake comes great responsibility. TSM.

The bartender knowing you by both name and drink of choice. TSM.

I want to go to class, but I NEED to go to the liquor store. TSM.

Fearlessly telling him that you did, in fact, hide his keys in his fridge when you were mad at him. TSTC.

“Ugh, your big gave you the BEST presents!” TSM.

“Tell me I’m prettier!” TSM.

The passive aggressive Twitter “favorite.” TSM.

“We should hang out sober one of these days.” TSM.

Making a drinking game out of the desperate phone calls and texts he’s sending you. TSTC.

Having two settings: sober and white girl wasted. TSTC.