The TFM tab is like my bank account, I never check it because I know what’s there. TSM.

When I’m having a bad day, I just stalk myself on Facebook to make it better. TSM.

Silly fratdaddy, your frocket tee is for me. TSM.

Intentionally showing cleavage as a beer pong tactic. TSM.

Being hard to forget > playing hard to get. TSM.

So, we can ask her to change her hair for recruitment, right? TSM.

Using sorority songs as lullabies to sing your little legacy to sleep. TSM.

If I’m not the most persuasive, ladylike, and well-polished person you know…you must’ve met my Big. TSM.

Knowing the bars are about to close, not because “Closing Time” is playing, because of multiple “hey” texts. TSM.

“I can’t believe she wants us to wear THAT for recruitment.” TSM.