Poop is weight leaving the body. TSM.

Celebrating your birthday like it’s a national holiday. TSM.

You can take the wine from the sorority girl, but the sorority girl WILL whine. TSM.

Flowers die, t-shirts don’t. TSM.

Recruitment and child birth are hard, but there are only two ways to get new babies. TSM.

You and 56 other friends are now friends with (insert new baby name here). TSM.

Your looks get you to the bedroom, your personality gets you to dinner. TSM.

You’re only as strong as the sisters behind you, the man beside you, and the heels beneath you. TSM.

Judge us for partying. We judge you for not partying. TSM.

Big hair, skinny arms, little waist, and good taste. TSM.