The self-proclaimed queen of Frozen, mascara, and the anti Chacos movement, Love is an Open Port is a bitter semi-alcoholic who spends her free time shotgunning on the roof of Sigma Nu. She doesn't know why she ever decided to move to the West Coast but makes the most of her current beach babe status - no cold to bother her anyway.
What’s also funny is that their head of standards wrote a blog post about the situation and what it sounds like it is, the “hazing” was a joke that the older sisters pulled during new member retreat where they took two girls at a time to quiz about the usual sorority question stuff and then told them the answers were wrong and one of them had to drink toilet water and the other had to take a cold shower. Then they said “just kidding” and hid them in the next room and continued to joke the entire class. Which is one of those things, in my opinion, that crosses the line a little past regular joking, but it could have been so much worse in the first place.
I’m so terrified of becoming this Big. My Big got very distant from the chapter at a time when I really needed her, so I wanted to always be there for my Little, but it turns out we are completely different people and not in an opposites-attract way. I try to be there for her but she never listens to my advice when I offer it (after she asks) and we really just don’t connect, and she picked another Little that the whole chapter kinda doesn’t get along with and is extremely disrespectful. I still try, but in a classic sitcom move, during move out last year she literally overheard me telling one of my friends that I wanted to take a twin, and got very upset. And now she’s in South America all summer with no internet or anything so I have no way of explaining to her that I just want to be a good Big to someone and that I want to keep trying with her anyway until we’re back at school. Meanwhile, the rumor mill churns.
From someone who has seriously considered at least looking into this, I have a question to anyone with experience about it regarding how open they are, especially with their families? The travelling “perk” for lack of a better word is my main question- how do you get away with disappearing for a weekend relatively regularly and showing up at all these amazing faraway places? Considering that this is a fairly common “perk” that I’ve seen in discussions about sugar daddies, it seems relatively important. And yes I know, we’re all adults doing adult things with our adult freedom, but it doesn’t seem like something you can hide and I know that my family would absolutely be questioning.
Can I just say that, thank you very much for reporting on this calmly and without doing anything to worsen the situation. Not blaming the website, but most of us Greeks are prone to gossip. I hope everyone respects this and doesn’t go looking for the information themselves if it’s still out there. Think about if it were your letters. And to sisters of Phi Sigma Sigma, I apologize – I can’t even begin to imagine how terrifying and disrespected you must feel. <3
I think it’s pretty clear that some of these incidents are actually racist and in bad taste, and those are obvious in the writing. Others are more ridiculous, which lends to the overall point of increased caution. I know this is a “satire site” but behind all satire is some truth and I think you didn’t find the right truth this article was projecting.
The “Clueless PNM” and “Prominent Active’s Ex” comment is ON POINT. The first week of October, I made out with a guy at a party only to have some random girl come up to me screaming about how since she liked him, she would make sure her house didn’t take me and that no chapter of our 4 on campus would take me. Obviously she doesn’t have that power, but to a 17 year old with her heart set on rushing, it was terrifying to hear. I definitely spent a good month or two worrying.
I remember when a sister in my pledge class started dating my ex promptly after he and I broke up, and somehow she just could not understand how uncomfortable and upset I was. Then he told me they broke up and we hooked up and they in fact broke up the next day, and now she and I are close friends. Shit’s weird but I guess no harm in the end if you (all of you, in the situation) remember there are more important things.
This also feeds into the (at least at my school) extremely prevalent “rivalry” between athletes and Greeks. If they can take these classes, why can’t we?
Situation: Been seeing my ex’s roommate who has been two-timing me with a disgusting girl, and he’s just backed out of being my semi-formal date because it isn’t fair to some obscure brother of his who has a crush on me.
Solution: Asked a random hot Sigma Chi pledge.
Being a gorgeous sorority girl has wonderful benefits.
Anna: The awkward one who’s a little too trusting at the frat houses, but she has a good sense of humor and a good enough head on her shoulders not to take it too far too fast. Just give her a diversion, we hear she loves flip cup.
Elsa: The one who’s a bit of an outcast, a bit stand-offish. She’s more comfortable staying inside the sorority house instead of downing shots on fraternity row. With this coldness, however, comes a level-headedness admired by all, and everyone else in the group comes to her for advice. She always knows when to let it go.
Umm I can truthfully say that only 4 things apply to me on this list and yet I am very very single?
These are all so random and ridiculously superficial
A group of my friends that included yours truly used to have a private Facebook group message that someone reported to Standards because they saw it and thought that it was exclusive. We got put on probation for 2 months. Anyone else see an issue with the sisterhood here? #fuckingsucks
What’s also funny is that their head of standards wrote a blog post about the situation and what it sounds like it is, the “hazing” was a joke that the older sisters pulled during new member retreat where they took two girls at a time to quiz about the usual sorority question stuff and then told them the answers were wrong and one of them had to drink toilet water and the other had to take a cold shower. Then they said “just kidding” and hid them in the next room and continued to joke the entire class. Which is one of those things, in my opinion, that crosses the line a little past regular joking, but it could have been so much worse in the first place.
I’m so terrified of becoming this Big. My Big got very distant from the chapter at a time when I really needed her, so I wanted to always be there for my Little, but it turns out we are completely different people and not in an opposites-attract way. I try to be there for her but she never listens to my advice when I offer it (after she asks) and we really just don’t connect, and she picked another Little that the whole chapter kinda doesn’t get along with and is extremely disrespectful. I still try, but in a classic sitcom move, during move out last year she literally overheard me telling one of my friends that I wanted to take a twin, and got very upset. And now she’s in South America all summer with no internet or anything so I have no way of explaining to her that I just want to be a good Big to someone and that I want to keep trying with her anyway until we’re back at school. Meanwhile, the rumor mill churns.
From someone who has seriously considered at least looking into this, I have a question to anyone with experience about it regarding how open they are, especially with their families? The travelling “perk” for lack of a better word is my main question- how do you get away with disappearing for a weekend relatively regularly and showing up at all these amazing faraway places? Considering that this is a fairly common “perk” that I’ve seen in discussions about sugar daddies, it seems relatively important. And yes I know, we’re all adults doing adult things with our adult freedom, but it doesn’t seem like something you can hide and I know that my family would absolutely be questioning.
^also wow, apologies to the grammatical errors. no idea how that happened
Can I just say that, thank you very much for reporting on this calmly and without doing anything to worsen the situation. Not blaming the website, but most of us Greeks are prone to gossip. I hope everyone respects this and doesn’t go looking for the information themselves if it’s still out there. Think about if it were your letters. And to sisters of Phi Sigma Sigma, I apologize – I can’t even begin to imagine how terrifying and disrespected you must feel. <3
I think it’s pretty clear that some of these incidents are actually racist and in bad taste, and those are obvious in the writing. Others are more ridiculous, which lends to the overall point of increased caution. I know this is a “satire site” but behind all satire is some truth and I think you didn’t find the right truth this article was projecting.
The “Clueless PNM” and “Prominent Active’s Ex” comment is ON POINT. The first week of October, I made out with a guy at a party only to have some random girl come up to me screaming about how since she liked him, she would make sure her house didn’t take me and that no chapter of our 4 on campus would take me. Obviously she doesn’t have that power, but to a 17 year old with her heart set on rushing, it was terrifying to hear. I definitely spent a good month or two worrying.
I remember when a sister in my pledge class started dating my ex promptly after he and I broke up, and somehow she just could not understand how uncomfortable and upset I was. Then he told me they broke up and we hooked up and they in fact broke up the next day, and now she and I are close friends. Shit’s weird but I guess no harm in the end if you (all of you, in the situation) remember there are more important things.
This also feeds into the (at least at my school) extremely prevalent “rivalry” between athletes and Greeks. If they can take these classes, why can’t we?
Out of curiosity, why are the photos here different than the ones on the TFM version of this article?
Situation: Been seeing my ex’s roommate who has been two-timing me with a disgusting girl, and he’s just backed out of being my semi-formal date because it isn’t fair to some obscure brother of his who has a crush on me.
Solution: Asked a random hot Sigma Chi pledge.
Being a gorgeous sorority girl has wonderful benefits.
What a class act. I sympathize with her dad’s death, but I wish she could spread that empathy, to, you know, the HOLOCAUST.
#15- no whiskey
Jesus Christ, what DO you love?
Still waiting for pledge class initiation?
Delta Pi – the Disney Princess sorority
quick additions:
Anna: The awkward one who’s a little too trusting at the frat houses, but she has a good sense of humor and a good enough head on her shoulders not to take it too far too fast. Just give her a diversion, we hear she loves flip cup.
Elsa: The one who’s a bit of an outcast, a bit stand-offish. She’s more comfortable staying inside the sorority house instead of downing shots on fraternity row. With this coldness, however, comes a level-headedness admired by all, and everyone else in the group comes to her for advice. She always knows when to let it go.
– I mean how could you leave out Frozen??
Umm I can truthfully say that only 4 things apply to me on this list and yet I am very very single?
These are all so random and ridiculously superficial
A group of my friends that included yours truly used to have a private Facebook group message that someone reported to Standards because they saw it and thought that it was exclusive. We got put on probation for 2 months. Anyone else see an issue with the sisterhood here? #fuckingsucks