“I like my money where I can see it — hanging in my closet.” -Carrie Bradshaw. TSM.

Having no concrete direction in life, but still convincing everyone you’re the most successful cousin at the dinner table. TSM.

“I have stories for you.” TSM.

Not worrying that you’ll freeze in your dress, because you’ll be drunk. TSM.

Dashing through the snow with a bottle of merlot. TSM.

I’m not an alcoholic. I’m a social drinker. It only seems like a problem because I’m so popular! TSM.

Leggings: because you’re too hungover to be bothered by pants with established waistbands. TSM.

If life gives you lemons, make Lululemons. TSM.

Searching for your keys and pulling multiple bows out of your purse instead. TSM.

The only response to your weekend being “I’ll pray for you.” TSM.