Spending half an hour stalking your own social media because you just find yourself that hilarious. TSTC.

Looking around the room for subtle clues as to what the hell happened last night. TSM.

“Of course I’ve never hooked up with him sober. What is he, my husband?” TSM.

Floating on a pool doughnut, because you can’t eat real doughnuts. TSM.

Your Starbucks account being connected to your dad’s PayPal account. TSM.

Friday’s face made possible by Thursday night’s makeup. TSM.

The majority of your back-to-school supplies consisting of clothes and makeup. TSM.

Having a pink, glittery bong. TSM.

Bid Day being the second best holiday of the year. Your birthday being the first. TSM.

Resting bitch face runs in my family. TSM.