Having nicknames for each boy you’re juggling. TSM.

When you say “Casual drinking,” I assume you mean “Don’t black out before we leave the house.” TSM.

Your favorite fraternity coming to you for theme suggestions. TSM.

I’m not drunk. I just can’t feel anything. TSM.

Even when we’re not having fun, we’re still having more fun than you. TSM.

Being voted “Most likely to have a hidden wild side.” TSM.

Treat every week like it’s syllabus week. TSM.

His letters determining how far he gets. TSM.

“I’m over it,” either meaning “I’m not even a little bit over it” or “You’re dead to me” with no in between. TSM.

Assuming that taking a little means you can raise a child. TSM.