I went to rural Malaysia and, faced with the prospect of using squatter toilets with a pale of water instead of toilet paper, did not move my bowels for three weeks.
You know who’s really hot? The bar-back. You know, the guy who hauls in the ice in a big plastic trash can, fills up the jar with pickled pigs feet, and wipes the vomit and piss off the front of the bar? Hubba hubba!
Let’s keep it in perspective. It was a bad idea, but an apology to all victims of rape? I don’t think so. If a bad bit of satire in a glorified blog requires an apology to all victims of rape, then what punishment is appropriate for the Nanking Massacre? A couple of nuclear bombs? So… wait… never mind…
(Sarcasm Alert) Them slave women had a cush deal back in the day, didn’t they. Free room and board, free medical care, all expenses paid. All they had to do was pick a little cotton and service massa now and then. Then Buzzkill Sherman came along and ruined the whole deal.
10/10 the surrogate is a virgin and they’ll name the kid Yeezus Christ.
OMG I feel so much better now!
Do not, no matter how cute you think it will be, name your children Harry, Ron, Hermione, or Neville. Especially not Neville.
7. Do not get arrested wearing your costume. There’s nothing worse than a mugshot of a person wearing a Halloween costume.
Admit it: you botched the job because you’ve always been jealous of Natalie…
I prefer standing-bent-over-the-bed doggy because my partner can comfortably use her iPhone, thus distracting her from my subpar performance.
This is a massive plot to make guys want to go down on you.
You own only one bra? Wow.
Totally impractical. You could never play the guitar with those things.
This is why you need two televisions.
I went to rural Malaysia and, faced with the prospect of using squatter toilets with a pale of water instead of toilet paper, did not move my bowels for three weeks.
Nooooooooooo!!!!
Or just, you know, hide behind an anonymous username.
I feel that black and white with a soft focus around edges best captures the internal poetry of my penis, don’t you?
Yeah, that’s pretty much it. Why?
You know who’s really hot? The bar-back. You know, the guy who hauls in the ice in a big plastic trash can, fills up the jar with pickled pigs feet, and wipes the vomit and piss off the front of the bar? Hubba hubba!
PS: It’s a bad idea to use you email as a username. The next dick pic you receive will be mine.
Let’s keep it in perspective. It was a bad idea, but an apology to all victims of rape? I don’t think so. If a bad bit of satire in a glorified blog requires an apology to all victims of rape, then what punishment is appropriate for the Nanking Massacre? A couple of nuclear bombs? So… wait… never mind…
(Sarcasm Alert) Them slave women had a cush deal back in the day, didn’t they. Free room and board, free medical care, all expenses paid. All they had to do was pick a little cotton and service massa now and then. Then Buzzkill Sherman came along and ruined the whole deal.
Yeah, but what about those stretch marks? One kid and pics of you in that cute bikini ain’t gettin’ no more InstaLikes, girlfriend.